There are so many examples of this!
You start off with good intentions…
You are setting a good example, showing others how it it done…
But, somewhere along the way they become dependent on you, expecting you to take care of them.
It could be financially, emotionally, physically, or spiritually…
Maybe you loaned them a little money to hold them over until payday. They paid you back, but needed to borrow more before the next payday. Over time, the amount gets higher and the repayment gets longer.
Or you let them move in with you to help them out. Next thing you know months have gone by. They show no signs of moving out and they are not really contributing anything to the household. But, they have no problem buying the latest phone or that designer bag.
At work it could be helping out that coworker who just does not get spreadsheets. You try to teach him or her, but find it is easier (and faster) to just do what needs to be done… until you discover that you are behind on your work and the coworker has plenty of time.
You could be the parent who loves to be needed by your kids (especially as they grow older and more independent), then wonder why you have no time for yourself because you are the only one who can cook, clean, and make sure homework is done.
You get the idea. We have all been there at some point in our lives.
I am not saying to never help anyone. Just keep in mind that there is a fine line between being the leader who helps others maximize their potential and the enabler who is just doing things for others, not helping them grow.
That is why I decided to become a financial educator and not a financial advisor or financial planner. I work with you, not for you, so you can make empowered financial decisions and know why you are making them. I give away plenty of knowledge for free. If you need more support, please let me know.
Can you think of any times you crossed the line from leader to enabler?